Divorce Parenting Classes – Putting Family First
In his book ‘Family First’ TV therapist Dr. Phil advises divorced parents to commit to affirmatively committing to a family and parenting strategy that will enable their child to flourish in a divorced home. Dr. Phil suggests divorced parents discourage children from defaming the other parent; agree on visitations, holidays and events; set common disciplinary boundaries and actively communicate with one another.
Dr. Phil’s sound advice for divorced parents is based on the principles of co-parenting. In co-parenting class divorced parents are encouraged to overcome their differences and cooperate in the raising of their children. Co-parenting centres on the well-being of the children. Parents who attend divorce parenting classes are well equipped to guide their children through the process of divorce.
Along with a list of recommendations, Dr. Phil also provides a list of mistakes divorced parents typically make when raising children. He cautions parents against sabotaging a child’s relationship with the other parent, using a child to manipulate a former spouse, forcing a child to chose a side when conflict arises between parents and spoiling a child materially out of guilt over the divorce. Parents are discouraged from making these mistakes but encouraged to learn through divorce parenting classes.
Constance Ahrons is a San Diego psychologist and author of ‘The Good Divorce’ who advises divorcing parents to limit conflict. ‘I always tell separating couples to try and minimize the transitions,’ she said. ‘If there’s any way to hold on to the house and have the kids stay there, do it. Keep the conflict to a minimum and never put the children in the middle.’
The Content of Classes
Divorce parenting classes cover a comprehensive range of issues you are likely to come across, including: how to discuss divorce with children, designing a workable parenting plan, how to create a healthy home environment, avoiding the most common parenting mistakes, the legal aspects of divorce, the most common step-family issues, healthy communication and co-parenting skills, typical child reactions and how to deal with them, signs of abuse, economic realities of divorce, strategies for dealing with a difficult parent, what kids need to maintain stability, helping children through transition issues, helping your child adjust to two households and managing your own emotional reactions.
Experts agree that conflict is undoubtedly bad for children. Divorce parenting classes facilitate conflict resolution between parents and reduce the likelihood of children witnessing violent outbursts between parents. Marriage and family therapist Craig Ogulnick confirms the benefit of parenting courses.
‘The bottom line with our program and others like it is to show [separating] parents that there is a way to give their kids a fair shot at a better childhood,” says Craig Ogulnick, who is a marriage and family therapist. “The research is clear that divorce with conflict is unquestionably bad for the kids.” Most studies agree that divorce is hard on children but recent studies suggest divorce need not be devastating. When parents attend divorce parenting classes and apply the lessons they learn, their children are more likely to handle the transition.