How To Have A Democratic Parenting Style
If you take a parenting style questionnaire, you can see what type of parent you are currently. There are many benefits to using a democratic parenting style. Not only do the children grow up to be responsible adults with good self esteem and good work ethics, but they also learn to consider the consequences to what they do before they do it. How do parents raise children like this?
Provide Clear Expectations
Parents using a democratic parenting style will be sure that everyone understands the family rules. Sometimes the children help create the rules, sometimes not, but whichever is the case, the children understand (to the level of their maturity) why the rules are in place and what they are expected to be doing in any situation. A typical conversation on the way to the grocery store might be, “Now remember, when we’re in the grocery store we act nice. You’re going to walk with me, and use a nice voice, and no begging. If you get too loud or run off, we’ll have to leave and won’t be able to finish shopping. Then we will all miss out on the treat we were going to get for dessert. So, act nice, no screaming, and no begging, or we can’t finish shopping.” Expectations are clearly laid out, as well as consequences.
Follow Through With Promised Consequences
The second most important thing to having rules in place is for the parent using a democratic parenting style to follow through with the established consequences. Who cares what the rules are if the children already know you don’t mean what you say? Remember – when you are choosing consequences – to have them be a consequence that isn’t going to impact others (making it tempting to not enforce the consequences after all). For example, if you tell them they won’t be able to go to the park, remember that not just they won’t be able to go, neither will you or the other kids. (Unless someone else can be home to watch the one who couldn’t go, like Dad or Grandma.)
Be Consistent
Once the democratic parenting style is being followed, be sure to be consistent. If the rules are wishy-washy, only applied when it is convenient for the parents, then the child has a hard time knowing what the rules really are. If there are variations, be sure children understand why. For example, “we’re going to take popcorn into the living room for our movie night, but we need to be sure we are careful – usually we just eat in the kitchen at the table!” If sometimes it is ok to scream in the store and sometimes not, the child will usually be willing to take his chances.
Parents who practice a democratic parenting style will find that their children learn to be responsible and to think before they act. They’ll have a warm, loving relationship with their children, and they’ll enjoy parenting.